Checking It Off My List
I'm on a bus right now, going home for the weekend and I've been going through pictures and video of the last few months. I can't help but be proud of all that I have accomplished.
I have changed so much in the past 6 months. I have learned to keep moving forward; to do something everyday for myself, and to put me as the priority.
The other day I had to fill out a questionnaire and it asked me, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" ...a question like that would usually initiate a full fledged panic attack, but this time it didn't. My perspective has changed and I answered in the most honest way I knew how.
I don't know where I'll be in 5 years. All I hope is that I am somewhere different than I am now. I am focused on today and what I need to do for this day to make it a success.
Thinking about the future and the pressure of everything I don't know how to do is overwhelming. I let it overwhelm me in the past a lot. It impeded on making my "today's" successful. I am not worried (as much) about the future anymore because I am here in the present taking one task at a time and checking it off my list. And I can only hope that all those items checked will lead me to bigger tasks to check.
I am strong enough to not be pressured into an answer I don't know. I am strong enough to know what I do know is enough and what I will know is a discovery I will make when I am ready for it.
Here is a little video I just came across of my first performance of "Out of the Darkness" live at The Hotel Cafe the night after The Biggest Loser Finale. (My incredible brother James filmed it.. shout out to James!) It epitomizes the strength and joy that I have discovered in myself. (sorry that it cuts off before our team building exercise, but I guess we will just leave that as a special part of the night for those that stood in the room)
Thank you for being apart of my journey and watching me bloom. Remember to be patient enough to know you will make the discoveries when you are ready for them, and I am grateful to have had a moment like that.
I leave you with a moment of inspiration from this video:
"This is life right now! This is what we are doing! WE ARE ALIVE! We've got eyes, we've got brains, we've got hearts, WE'VE GOT BLOOD PUMPING!"